Authors who are "Differently Expertised"...

Authors who are "Differently Expertised"...

20 July 2010

Bounced off the wall

Five weeks ago I blogged about hitting a wall and spinning my wheels, and going to visit my kids, hoping to renew. Well, I went visiting, fished with my son, Jeff - (see my FaceBook page for video of my catch o' the day), taught my DIL how to can my award-winning sweet pickles, but despite enjoying my time with my kids immensely, came back a day early due to some physical problems and sadly, repeatedly, continued to walk into that wall. It was like the replay button was stuck.

When I viewed the wall as a whole, it looked formidable. I had to decide whether it was one huge piece of concrete, troweled smooth, running the length of China, which could be blown to bits by solving what had created it, or was it a block wall, that could be destroyed by attacking and removing one block at a time, causing it to crumble, or was it a stockade fence, made from huge tree trunks which, when set afire, would end up in ashes that would blow away in a stiff wind.

Final answer - it's a block wall that can be removed one block at a time, which is what I'm in the process of doing. One block is relearning to deal with physical problems. That's a big block. Oh, I'm not feeling sorry for myself; never have. That's not it. It's relearning how to cope with a body that refuses to do what I want it to do. That block will always be there. I've solved its stubbornness before and will do it again. So I'll concentrate on the next block.

It's the "missing my kids" block. That's a tough one right now. My daughter and grandkids are very far away. We saw them at Thanksgiving and that's 8 months ago. I want to jump on the train and get back to Georgia, but that's not doable right now, so it's time for another Skype visit, which will remove another block, but leave the ache.

My son and DIL are only 2 hours drive away, but our collective busy lives put us on a disconnect course. Texting is great and a small visit on August 14 will remove that block, but leave that infernal ache.

Next block - it's the "what to write next?" block, which is almost the biggest. I've been mentally chipping away at this block - should I: continue with the memoirs that right now are chapters scattered here and there on my computer and in paper files, edit "Cascabel" and pitch it at the conference or e-book it or both, begin Moochi's sequel, work on my adult suspense "Rain, Rain, Go Away . . .", begin a new book, or short story, or novella, etc. Not insurmountable - just need to stop being indecisive.

The more I reread what I've just written, I think this block-chipping will begin by editing Cascabel, resending it to Camilla for work and then send it out to an e-book publisher, tackle "Rain" and see how it feels, collect those scattered memoirs and see how they stack up, continue to promote Moochi and put the sequel on hold for a bit. Although I've mentally tossed this solution about, finally seeing it in writing really made the difference. Consider this block removed.

That leaves the biggest block of all. It's the biggest, and one I can't talk about here. At the moment, there seem to be only two choices to its removal; possibly three. Since I can't talk about it here, I'll have to write about it. That won't remove the block, but it may reduce it to pea gravel.

So, the answers to a couple of blocks lay in writing, which I need to begin instead of doodling on this blog. I really am grateful for this blog, which I never thought would be the case. A blogger I'm not, or at least I haven't been 'til now.

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