Authors who are "Differently Expertised"...

Authors who are "Differently Expertised"...

24 May 2011

Green-Eyed Monsters

I admit to dwelling on the dark side now and then. Yes, the green-eyed monster of envy occasionally raises its hideous head inside my thoughts. Smackdown swiftly knocks it aside, but if I'm brutally honest, it lurks in the deepest recesses of my mind.

Envy picture from http://emommyhood.com/?p=998
I think we need to acknowledge those occasional "What do I have to do to get where they are?" moments. Aspiration is the stepsister to jealousy and the stage mother to accomplishment. Who hasn't marveled at J.K. Rowling's story and wished their novel would be snatched up to become a global phenomenon? What writer doesn't secretly hope to become the next super sales sensation a la Grisham or King? Honest now: don't you wish your book would skyrocket onto the New York Times Bestsellers list? And secretly, wouldn't you want to go nyah nyah nyah to the doubters in your life if it did? But of course you'd have to be gracious and keep that to yourself...

Until that day, it's the little successes of others that spur me on. I want to have a book in the Top 100 on Amazon like Rosemary Gemmell, win Novel of the Year like Ashley Barnard, have the local Book Festival faun over me like J.A. Jance...but I also recognize that it's only my own hard work and diligence to better my craft that will get me there. (BTW, I'm really happy for Rosemary and Ashley--you gals rock!)  

Don't get me wrong, I am plenty grateful for all the breaks I've received. I've been extremely fortunate to have interviews and invitations to speak. But until Ms. Rowling and I are on a par with neighboring castle estates, I think I'll always want to sell a few more, win some awards, get my book out to a few more people.

Still, the monster bugs me. Sometimes that petulant little voice sneaks up and whines in my ear and I have to swat it away. I try desperately to use envy Raid on mosquitoes of resentment when I'm not chosen for a panel or event or whatever. And I wonder, do other writers out there experience that little green twinge?

2 comments:

Rogue said...

But to some of us you are JK.

Everyone wants to be published (except for those few eccentics who confound me) but the thought of going it alone and risking being the wannabe JD Robb...

Jealously may just be another form of worship/respect. And prove that the goal is attainable... with hard work.

Jude Johnson said...

Thanks, Rogue. Good perspective--except that part about me being JK. ;-)